Pdf/E–book [Turtles All the Way Down] author John Green

Coolidge gThis full review is now POSTED atreen fangirls do your worst you do not scare me i am definitely not extremely frightened and emotionally fragile right now Well well well John Green We have to stop meeting like thisBy like this I mean you write a book I read it I hate it Wash rinse repeat Every time This is lucky number seven I don t think it s working all that well for either of us For me at least it s definitely etting a little oldBut here we are I keep using the weird bragjustification of Yes I hate John Green and no it s not because I haven t read insert The Fault in Our Stars or Looking for Alaska or Paper Towns here yet because yes I ve read all of his books and yes the reviews are in and yes it was absolutely all bad Except for the the reviews are in part Because I haven t really reviewed any of them I wasn t on Goodreads in 2006 my dear boy It has Not been a decade of these shenanigansAnd so as I continue to use that line of defense against his wildly loyal unaging roup of eeky manic pixie dream irls in training I continue to argue myself into reading his books And oh boy do I suffer in returnThis is unfortunately not a The Fault in Our Stars type situation Never thought I d be disappointed by something differing from The Fault in Our StarsI can t just write a review of this that is speaking enerously 92% me uoting the book and being like hahaha can you believe this is just a normal average sentence in this totally real book Although there will be a lot of that because HOW CAN I RESIST I m not a superheroThis book is not just John Green using cancer as an excuse to make teens fall in love with each other in a way that is profound and sad or John Green using a missing person to make teens fall in love with each other in a way that is profound and sad orusing another missing person to make teens fall in love with each other in a way that is profound and sadOh sht oh wait this book DOES use a missing person to make teens fall in love with each other in a way that is profound and sad Hahahaha What is it with John Green and missing people We re Looking for Alaska We re tearing this Paper Town apart to find MargoHang on I m etting a phone call What It s official I m the funniest person on Earth I knew that tearing paperPaper Towns joke would push me over the edge Sorry first runner up John MulaneySo Back to the point I lost roughly a thousand years ago Even though this book DOES contain some terrible overwrought pretentious writing and a manic pixie dream romance and a missing person that s not its Thing Like the Thing of The Fault in Our Stars is cancerdeathsadness the Thing of this book is mental illness Specifically a combination of anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorderWhich John Green has This is ownvoices for anxietyOCD RadIt makes the whole review writing thing a tad complicated though Because like I didn t like this book Not because of the mental illness rep But I can t just exile the whole book to Garbage Island any Because the rep is Комуналният капитализъм, том 1 goodMy life is so hard youuysThe fangirls are oing to come for me so badThe mental illness rep was ood But also it was still a John Green book and I strongly disliked the process of reading it and in fact was forced into a reading slump so hard that it feels like while I was reading this my brain was ently removed from my skull and replaced with a small mound of cotton ballsI have still not recoveredLet s do some categories yeahAlso this book needs a huge huge huge huge huge huge HUGE trigger warning for self harm I don t know why I haven t seen that mentioned I don t consider self harm a trigger for myself and I still had to take breaks while reading thisTHE PLOT ALLEGEDLYWellThere isn t oneThis book has excellent mental illness rep yes but it is still a John Green book and that means there is not a plot so much as there is let s listen to the every thought of some very unbearable and introspective teens for a few hundred pages shall we All of this overwhelming pretension and analysis and over description of basic inanimate objects comes at a cost and that cost is a little something I like to call not being excruciatingly bored I read this book on Overdrive which has that handy dandy little feature where you can see the proportion of the book you ve read in a neat lil percentage By the 5% mark of this book we have read exclusively about a single lunch period in the life of our Protagonist Aza Which We Are Told Eight Aza which we are told eight times is 37 minutes longFive percentThirty seven minutesI m just oing to close out this section here because there is no way I can make it any clearer than thatIT S NOT EVEN ORIGINAL YOU GUYS SERIOUSLYEven though this book feels infinitely long it is actually only 288 pages Which is why it s impressive that this sht not only feels Unrelentingly Verbose But Also Unbelievably verbose but also unbelievably example one of my favorite inexplicable tropes crops up about nine hundred and seventeen times in this book Teenage Characters With Shtty Cars That They Humorously Name And Love With All Their Adolescent Hearts What a wild clich Our protagonist Aza has a dinky little car named Harold This is one of the only jokes in this whole book and let me tell you there is some dark sht and the comic relief is NEEDED This is me attempting to be Die Letzten Legionen Konstantinopels generous as I wonder why John Green could possibly have included so many iterations of the exact same jokeIt s not just the Harold joke It s also the setting of Applebee s where our characterso one hundred times the only joke being the exact same premise of how funny it is that they are there using a hahaha you PC Game Programming EXplorer The Easiest Way to Blast through the Mysteries of Game Programming guyset ready I really don t think you re prepared for how funny this is a COUPONThe Applebee s staff hates them The Parables the Sentences (Cistercian Fathers Series) guys I mean are you serious A coupon In an establishment often predicated on deals and savings Get out of here you zany teens You re too muchSimilar to this is the unrelenting onslaught of Details About A Rich Person s House Davis the son of Missing Person Who Makes Teens Realize Things About Love and also Subject Of Occasional Love When Necessary For Pretentious Pondering and also Source Of Much Of Pretentious Pondering is rich as hell The innumerable descriptions of his home sound like 13 year old me trying to depict teen pop sensation Justin Bieber s home for a fanfiction I would never even research let alone completeI ll spare you the wondering I was notood at writing fanfictionTHE LANGUAGE GOOD LORD THE LANGUAGEHere s the thing I know a lot of people love John Green for his writing I am not one of those people obviously for the established reason that I find him unbearably pretentious but many of them existBut like Why uys Why do you love him This book could be a master class in the use of the passive voice I use the passive voice all the time but a every professor and teacher I ve ever had has kindly asked me to fcking stop immediately and b I M NEITHER A WRITING PROFESSIONAL NOR RENOWNEDBut enough of that Let me just do a liiiiittle bit of uoting Just to show you uys that I m right about how pretentious and overwrought and unnecessary it all is It ll be a Google Translate type situation I ll write the phrase in normal human English and then we ll translate it into John GreenianCeiling lights fluorescent cylinders spewing aggressively artificial light He drove faster He accelerated with the entle serenity of the Buddhist Zen master who knows nothing really "NEEDS TO BE DONE UICKLY FUN RIGHTALSO HERE S "to be done uickly Fun rightAlso here s FAVORITE THING So there s this passage in the book when Aza oes I was out of school for two weeks Fourteen days of my life reduced to one sentence because I can t describe anything that happened during those days So how many sentences do you think came after that Zero right Aza clearly says the whole thing was reduced to one sentenceGUESS WHATGUESS THE HELL WHATIt s followed by several paragraphs of descriptionSometimes it s just too easyAnyway I could keep uoting and uoting these increasingly unbelievable sentences but what would be the point I hate the way this is written and some people love it and here we are At an impasse Not even a bad impasse Here s where I should have said some sht like And yet not even an impasse worth solving an impasse of opinion which is also called life or something like that This is all to me sentiments alternately ordinary and slightly off disguised under the massive weight of മലയാള കവിതാസാഹിത്യ ചരിത്രം gaudy phrasingNOTHING MAKES SENSE WE LL ALL BE DEAD SOMEDAYHere s one of my favorite categories Tiny things that bother me almost as much as the bigger things some might say actually matter Like for example in what world is a securityuard responsible for the retrieval of Dr Peppers for uirky teens Which is also coincidentally the name of the charity I m starting or at least my band That security uard s salary had best be bigger than God sAlso this is literally so over described that John Green forgets his own descriptions He was wearing his school polo shirt and khaki pants Next paragraph He had skinn. Prise dans la spirale vertigineuse de ses pensées obsessionnelles Aza seize ans n'avait pas l'intention d'enuêter sur la disparition du milliardai. Turtles All the Way DownBe leading a completely different life very soon It was something I told my brother constantly when he was still in high school and I had one on to University and suddenly had to try and remember how hard high school had been A note on technology I feel very strongly about the use of technology in YA It frustrates me to no end when a teenager leaves their phone at home or runs out of data or doesn t think to text someone something time sensitive It isn t the way that teenagers function it doesn t make any sense it ignores a huge part of the way that teenagers understand themselves and each other and can you tell that I really care about it yet John Green does the impossible here he manages to include technology organically to make it important to the story and to their lives but without making it immicky For that I am also thankfulFinally I am thankful for this representation of mental health It is ugly sad disturbing frustrating but not hopeless It isn t everything even though sometimes it is and it s honest I am so happy so unbelievably happy that kids and teenagers and also adults will have this That they will read it and feel understood or empathize or both You know how we always want books to make us better people To show us new perspectives we couldn t imagine Pick up Turtles All The Way DownFull disclosure I read an early version of the book and worked with John Green and his editor and my name is in the acknowledgments The posting of this review is unrelated to the work I did Even though I just finished this book I already know it s one that will stick with me for years to come I can t fully express how cathartic this book was I finally saw parts of myself represented in a novel the parts that I was ashamed of and pretended didn t exist This is by far my favorite John Green novel I can t say much about this because I m still sobbing over it Just read it please Let us play a little ame called What could this book possibly aboutFirst off we can argue a bit about the setting His early work would suggest that he prefers warm places but over the years he has slowly migrated to the MidwestWe can assume that this time it will be set on the sun for the conditions are best for cultivating our feels and destroying our hopeNext we can examine the characters They must be the perfect combination of witty socially awkward beautiful and of course burdened with a Dark Moon great amount of tragedy and overwrought with pain I muessing ex convict and clown Good pairingThe plot is tricky you see for this varies Bigger Secrets More Than 125 Things They Prayed You'd Never Find Out greatly book to book The spectrum is uite wide I moing to Digital Holography guess it ll be a complex story that weaves together the lives of the ex convict who becomes the firstreat poet in years and the young circus clown who keeps having dreams of the constellation Hercules Yes this sounds about right I think they will need to save the world from llamas And the romance One mustn t forget the romance All you really need to know is it will break your heart So if I have Reaper Unexpected Deadside Reapers guessed correctly this book will be about a past criminal mastermind and a clown living on the sun Together they will stop llamas from taking over the universeOr y know worst comes to worst and it s twilight fanfiction Whatever it is I m sure we will I CAN TASFJSDFLK and feel all of the feelsUPDATE So we have a title This is clearly about wimbleton and its philosophical after effects This was ABSOLUTELY EXCELLENT and alsoave me an existential crisis so thanks for that I m actually floored by how Hakkeyoi Vol 2 good it was I mean I haven t read a new John Green novel in forever but this is worth the wait I wasn t actually nervousoing in It s about mental health OWNVOICES I REMIND YOU and missing persons and smol sad rich boys and everything about this just shouts that it s my kind of novel It really really hit home so hard for me I loved itOK note on the title I see a lot of people complaining about the lack of turtles and likeI m sorry but I M LAUGHING HAVE YOU NOT MET JOHN GREEN It s a metaphor The title of the book being a metaphor is like perfect I mean no one complained about the towns not being made of You re deflecting I just stared at her You re right that self isn t simple Aza Maybe it s not even singular Self is a plurality but pluralities can also be integrated right Think of a rainbow It s one arc of light but also seven dif The ShortTrigger warnings anxiety OCDWriting 5 starsCharacters 475 starsPlot 45 starsOriginality 4 starsall out of 5 starsThe LongIt s hard to believe I just read a new John Green JG from now on book My mind can t really Wrap Around That Especially Given around that Especially The Wandering Scholars of the Middle Ages given I was 5 years ago not even knowing BookTube existed now I can t imagine my life without BookTube and being Hailey in Bookland But it was a pleasure to read his writing again He is extremely talented I was super nervousoing into this admittedly After the smash success of TFIOS I couldn t imagine a high pressure situation Especially as I haven t absolutely loved all of his novels I just didn t know where this one would fall for me But I m so happy that I loved it It s definitely my favourite YA book on mental illness that I ve ever read What sets JG apart and makes him IMO a pioneer in the YA I Survived The Great Molasses Flood 1919 I Survived genre is the fact that he writes knowledgable teenage characters He doesn t discount teenagers as unintelligent due to their developing brains He recognizes that teenagers IRL are able to comprehend complex concepts This may seem obvious but I read a book on writing books for young readers recently and it emphasizes the fact that you have to use the most simplistic language possible so young teenage minds can understand it BS Teenagers are not dumb Because of this his characters are so startlingly relatable I think Aza is an especially relatable character for me with her struggles with anxiety The way JG describes her experiences with anxiety spoke to me so intensely Specifically the metaphor of the spiral Blew my mind in all honesty JG definitely has a talent for metaphors I neveret sick of it He s always had a way of finding the perfect words to describe that which seems indescribable Seeing him use this techniue regarding mental illness was fascinating I think if you do or ever have suffered from mental illness you will vastly appreciate his narrative I found this story to be very different than JG s other novels Not in a bad way at all but the plot was much subtle There are two plots happening simultaneously really one internally and one externally You think you re following the one and then it turns out the other is the central focus The way the two were interwoven was enius I think this has been written in a way that will appeal to both the next eneration of YA readers as well as the aging eneration of YA readers Typically JG s novels have the romance as a main focal point and they really are some of my favourite romances but here the romance takes a back seat The front seat is occupied by Aza s own personal mental health journey It was such a nice change That s not to say there is no romance it s there but it s just not the main topicOverall this made me SO happy that John Green is returning to the world of YA It was the most authentic representation of mental illness I ve ever read and I m so lad I went in with an open mind You can tell he is writing about something he s extremely familiar with I can t wait to see what he comes out with next I hope he has plans to write My review is now up if you d like to watch m speechless It s stunning 2 Starsand that s me being

book was wellnot The Impending Crisis 1848 1861 goodI went this with somewhat high hopes I knew it was about airl with anxiety issues and as someone Who Struggled With A Lot Of Anxiety struggled with a lot of anxiety a hormone ridden depressed teen who lost a parent at a young age myself much like Aza I expected to really connect with this story At least on some level One reviewer I follow even ranked this as her top read of 2017 Said it was life changingLIFE CHANGING To each their own and all that jazz truly I m happy other people The New Oxford Guide to Writing got something out of this book but in my opinion for something to change my life or at least remotely affect me in any way it has to have at least some depth to itAnd this book had about as much depth as the shallow end of the kiddie pool Now I realize that I a 35 year old woman am not the targeted demographic for this book but stillThere has to be at least some point to a bookCharacter developmenta cool plota semi decent romance evenBut this bookHad basically no plotNo true character development that I can seeAnd perhaps the most simplistic moral of the story I ve ever seen So let me save you a few bucks or a trip to the library and justive you what amounts to the entire point of this book hereReadydrum rolldrum rolldrum rolldrum rolldrum rolldrum rollLife Goes OnYep that s pretty much it LifeGoes On 45 STARS I REALLY REALLY ENJOYED THIS BOOKIf I leave this review blank for now I may force myself to film a video review which I really want to do haha. Davis L'improbable trio trouvera en chemin d'autres mystères et d'autres vérités celles de la résilience de l'amour et de l'amitié indéfectib. ,

John Green ☆ 7 Review

Y sunburned legs and knobby knees SORRY AZA DID HE TAKE HIS GODDAMN PANTS OFF DID HE I M SORRY I MUST HAVE MISSED THAT BETWEEN DISCUSSION OF AN IMMORTAL REPTILE OR WHATEVER PLEASE GO ONAnd I just want to put this passage here and see if anyone else craves the sweet sweet oblivion of unconsciousness after reading it The most recent uote was He who doesn t fear death dies only once which I thought was maybe some veiled reference to his father but I couldn t unpack it For the record he who does fear death also dies only once but whatever Okay actually I can t just let it sit there Are you KIDDING ME Is this a deliberate misinterpretation of the uote Is this on purpose dumb OBVIOUSLY THE MAN WHO FEARS DEATH DIES MORE THAN ONCE BECAUSE HE CAN T STOP IMAGINING HIS OWN DEATH To use your own words John it s a oddamn metaphor It makes sense to put the killing thing between your teeth or what fcking ever but that elouent af classic piece of prose is nonsense to youSometimes even I m surprised by how much this stuff rinds my They Can't Kill Us Until They Kill Us gearsTEEN TALK WITH A PRETENTIOUS MIDDLE AGED MANA lot of this book lacks the let s talk about the evolution of the universe and then the afterlife if there s time to spare mentality of most John Green teenage dialogue but it does Not lack the polished complete thoughts with that exactly one 1 witticism to every two 2 statements ratioLet s just put some uotes in Last night I lay on the frozenround staring up at a clear sky only somewhat ruined by light pollution and the fog produced by my own breath no telescope or anything just me and the wide open sky and I kept thinking about how sky is a singular noun as if it s one thing But the sky isn t one thing The sky is everything And last night it was enough Like have you ever in your The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sleep Training your Child Complete Idiot's Guide to godforsaken life read a perfectly uintessentially John Green passage than that one It s tooood At the end when walking was work we sat on a bench looking down at the river which was running low and she told me that beauty was mostly a matter of attention The river is beautiful because you are looking at it she said Here s a clip of some texting convo for y all Him Then what am I What is anyoneMe I is the hardest word to defineHim Maybe you are what you can t not be You know How teens textAnd then just when you re thinking oh maybe John Green just does pretentious dialogue now Maybe we ve escaped the unrelenting yoke of the uirkiness of his characters the unbearable cringe inspiring relatable he cuts you off in the middle of that thought with this sht You are like pizza which is the highest compliment I can pay a personGod that s justit s hard to keep Fractured by Deceit (PSY-IV Teams going after that one Is this a Forever 21raphic tee from 2011 What is happening right nowI m oing to oogle Cody Ko pizza to soothe my weary soul I suggest you do the sameAnyway it s safe to say John Green really The DevOps Handbook gets teens youuys He understands em I mean when was the last time you met a teen whose ideal date wasn t wandering a freezing cold park sitting on a bench and cavalierly mentioning the beauty of the river only to be well actually d by their irlfriend about the nature of aesthetic appreciation I know I can t rememberNOW THAT S WHAT I CALL JOHN GREENThe beginning of this book wasnot John Green y Which as someone who has declared the aforementioned man my nemesis is a complete positive But rather than being pretentious and overwrought and all of those things that make John Green John Green it was boring At least passionate hatred isn t boring So the introduction of highbrow philosophies related in their polished entirety about a fifth of the way through was almost a reliefI ve already uoted way too many of those highbrow philosophies though Either you re masochistic enough to read the book or you have had Enough Of ThatA lot of this was not typical John Green but also so much of it was The Missing Person thing for example Also the classic Uniuely Named Friends With One uirk One Of Whom Is Not White In this book we ot Daisy Ramirez Mychal Turner and Davis Pickett I read this five months ago so I might be wrong but pretty damn sure everyone s heterosexual af The not white friend is not the one who occasionally kisses our white protagonist which is to say this romance is Caucasian As Hell You know Just a touch behind on the diversity memo outside of the excellent neurodiversityBut also John Green might just not remember how to be John Green considering that Daisy s self proclaimed life motto was Break Hearts Not Promises Really John You could Arian A2.2 Lan-koadernoa ( erantzunak) get that sht on a 75% off clearanceraphic tee for like four dollars It s been done That s the best you can doIt s like I don t even know who you are anyIN WHICH I TRY TO BE NICEI I don t even know who you are anyIN WHICH I TRY TO BE NICEI two nice ish things to sayOne I liked this uote He s in that vast boy middle The whole problem with boys is that ninety nine percent of them are like okay Extremely true and real My other kinda nice thing is also very irrational and super unfair I wish that John Green wrote a memoir about his particular mental illness Because I hate this book for what it is but I didn t Hate That Part Of ItIN WHICH I REMEMBER WHY I that part of itIN WHICH I REMEMBER WHY I ACTUALLY HATE JOHN GREENI m Exploring Arduino going to close this out with the only part of this book that made me actually furious All the pretension and boring ness and overwrought language and whatnot is all fun andames to me But there s a part of this book that is so resoundingly fcked up it made me actually angry Here it is Most adults are just hollowed out You watch them try to fill themselves up with booze or money or God or fame or whatever they worship and it all rots them from the inside until nothing is left but the money or booze or God they thought would save them Adults think they re wielding power but really power is wielding them Fck this Fck this passage I am not here for this Peter Pan adolescent lorification egotism Every single face you see in your entire life is representative of a person who has lived a life Who has suffered Just because we don t all do it while spewing elouent bullsht about constellations and speaking in half unknown literary uotations doesn t mean we re all cogs in some machine We all live and think and feel Maybe this is the thing I hate most about John Green the lorification of the weird to the detriment of the normal It s this blatant superiority including this mocking of alcoholism as if it s not just as much a mental illness as those of the characters in this book that makes John Green absolutely unbearable to readAnd so ang I think he and I are done And I can t say I m too upset about itThat s my bottom line PRE REVIEWactual review to come NOTE i know what turtles all the way down means i know that the spiral holds significance and i know that this cover is still full on ugly please do not feel obligated to explain to me the wonderful intricacies i am missing the only thing i am missing is my vision because this cover is so ugly it blinded me yes i am already biased against john reen but can this cover is so ugly it blinded me yes i am already biased against john Cutlass green but can agree that this cover is straight up UGLYand alsoi borrowed my sister s computer to say this I ve been having a bad run with YA lately I ve loved it for so long that I persevere on remembering that there areems that there are treasures but increasingly I ve found myself worried have I Solar Electricity Handbook – 2019 Edition: A simple, practical guide to solar energy – designing and installing solar photovoltaic systems. grown out of it Have I overdone it Each novel seems to be repeating some unspoken pattern or at least trying to make something new out of the same ingredients It was with trepidation then that I wandered in to Turtles All The Way Down thinking yes I ve liked John Green books in the past but maybe that was before I hadrown tired of the same ingredients NOPE IT S GREAT YA IS ALIVE AND WELL Like always I m thankful for Green s refusal to dumb anything down He treats his teenagers like adults because they are adults or nearly are and at the very least deserve the same respect as adults When we are introduced to Aza s life and her way of living it nothing is hidden Her anxiety and mental health continue to be an unrelenting problem in the narrative because they are an unrelenting problem in her narrative It doesn t ease up it doesn t Afterglow get fixed and at times it is nearly physically painful to read about a sadirl who can t No Ifs, Ands, or Bears About It (Grayslake, get better You do just want to reach into the pages andive her a shake or a hug and tell her to please Hello World Being Human in the Age of Algorithms get better But that s the point She can t Or not forever And that s okay Because she s still lovely and wonderful and lovedI have a particular love for the ending My dad and I agree that watching aood movie is fun the second time Now you know that every thing is Untersuchungen zu Hölderlins Pindar-Rezeption (Münchner germanistische Beiträge) going to be all right and you can just relax and enjoy it I went into the ending so nervous that it would be cheesy or unrealistically hopeful or really unnecessarily sad I was so surprised by an ending that moved on from being a teenager looked at a life beyond teenage hood that I nearly cried I nearly cried because not enough teenagers hear that what they reoing through truly matters but also that they ll. Re Russell Pickett Mais c'était compter sans Daisy sa meilleure amie et une récompense de cent mille dollars Aza renoue alors avec le fils Pickett. ,